hel0 maggots.
ii am soo ottally not myself at all.
im really loosing it.
ive been soo bloody emo these past few days.
and everyone hates me being too emo.
ive been tearing soo much lately.
people sorry for making you worry.
ii know my change in attitude is soo sudden.
ii just cant keep all these feelings anymore.
todays post is about yesterday and today.
and its about ME AMIN and FRIENDS.
dont know why im posting in the middle of the night.
just now amin called.
talked a little and told him some stuffs.
he calmed me down a little and cheered me up too.
okayy ii wont do it cans ? .
ii asked him three questions.
1. why do my friends hate me emo ? .
2. why do you care for me more then her?
i mean, isnt she your girl ? .
3. who am ii really ? .
he told me that people hate me emo because.
when ii smile, ii make them smile.
and that if ii have a sad face, it isnt nice.
if my friends have problems, they come to me.
see my smiling face and ii help them.
but if they see my sad face, they feel that.
ii wouldnt really have the mood.
and that they can feel something sad from me.
that make them even sadder. especially him .
thats number ONE.

he said because ive known you longer.
youre more important because you just are.
he gave me a little story too.
if ii had a boyfriend that ii told everything too.
even all my problems.
and one day he broke my heart.
who would ii turn too ? .
ii said no one of course.
second story is.
if ii had a friend that ii told everything too.
all my problems and everything.
and one day my guy broke my heart.
who would ii turn too ? .
ii said that friend of course.
then he said there you go thats your answer.
then we went on talking about how we met.
and the first time he called me.
6TH JUNE 2006 6.45 56 SECS PM.
he said yes and what if we didnt meet ? .
what if he didnt take that chance to call to me ? .
bottomline is, when a stranger calls.
talk to him cause he may end up being your Bestie.
or in our case. TWINS.
thats number TWO.

number THREE.
he said that you are me. thats why we are twins.
we are same in everyway and anyway.
its true that we really do share same personalities.
then ii told him this. ive lost my smile and personality.
ii really dont know who ii am.
the twin you knew is gone. ii dont know where she is.
he asked me why ii felt this way and ii said.
that ii feel ive lost my friends. he said what you mean ? .
i said dewi has Hamizah.
tiina has marya.
namera has hockey friends.
shanu has nisha
shiqin has nazifah.
and finally you have Hamizah.
he said thats not true. who said you dont have me ? .
he told me the same thing again.
and he said why didnt you tell me ? .
ii said ii didnt want to worry any of my friends.
then he said thats what friends are for.
someone to worry for you and comfort you.
he said hes always there for me and hes my diary.
he told me that he will bring that smile of mine back too.
ii seriously cant think much now.
dont know to be happy or sad.
february supposed to be my happy month.
but it turned out to be the worst.
my birthday is coming soon.
but im nothing to be happy about it anyway.

EVERYONE WHO ASKED ME TO CHEER UP.
tankiies ii really appreciate your comfort.
though ii think i will be blue till.
ii duno, till ii get my smile back ? .
if anyone can find it lahs.
ii dont think that would be easy.
even Amin cant get my smile back easy.

AMIN.
tankiies for telling me all this.
now ii know that youre there for me.
ii feel lighter than usual.
help me vent it all out kayys ? .
tankiies for being my diary.
dont forget that i will be your too.
and and ii will try to smile more.
but you know that it will be fake lahs.

FREAK.WEIRDO.CREEP.AYESHA Y

I dont entertain no-lifes
read, tag, be nice.
or Leave

honeylovers since 03.02.2009
No-life clan? Click.

Im Ayesha and i keep pepper spray in my back pocket *smirk*

Im nice & fun, but test me & see how long the nice-ness last

I have awesome BFFs; GILERRS!

My J-friends call me Aya-chan & did i mention? Im a japanese-obsessed-girl :D

Obsession for turtles, a passion for writing & a love for ALL acessories! Wanna be friends? Gladly (:

And ILY 亀梨和也 !
KAT-TUN daisuki!
BIGBANG saranghae!

Its me
[♥]LIVEJOURNAL[♥]

Pictures anyone?
[♥]MULTIPLY[♥]

• Must Haves
♥ A ________
♥ KAT-TUN album(s)
♥ Pass O Levels!
♥ Graduate with ALL of 4EC
♥ Singapore Poly!
♥ Go to Japan
♥ Meet KAME
♥ To be a successful AUTHOR

Bloody Monday DVD
Absolute Boyfriend DVD
KAT-TUN'S latest album
go to JE concerts!
Kame's Rayben's degreeless specs
brown contacts
Hiragana/Katakana/Kanji
Work in CM production
Twilight/New Moon/Eclispe/Breaking Dawn

♥ 18 February
KAME/TURTLE STUFF!
accessories accessories! :D
Japanese stuff ^.^v
BIG Turtle or Teddy
Green/Red converse shoes
A memorable birthday ^^

1406 FIREWORKS!
1506 SITIEEE BDAY
1606 SILAAAAAS BDAY
1706 Sitieee's Bday dinner
1906 STUUDY!
2506 NAMMIE BDAY
2506 IFAAAH BDAY
2706 JASMINE'S 20TH BDAY!

FRIENDSTER

GILERRS <33

PRINCESS D, FASHA, KHUZA, SYAZA

Sugars <3

FEE, IQAAA!, IRNA, MARYJANE, MURNIE, ELAHH, NAMMIE, NATT, NICOLE, SITIEEEEEE!

The Classes ((:

[1EA] AZURA, [1EA] NPCC ARIFF, [1EA] DHARSH, [1EA] SHAMEERAH, [1EA] VIVIAN, [2EB] SHEADA, [3EC] SHASHA, [4EC] ELVI, [4EC] MARIYA, [4EC] NURUL, [4EC] WEI SONG

Humans (:

AISHAH, AISYAHLALA, AZRUL, MEEZA, LI PING, SHIKIN, SHINGRONG, SYAKIRAH, TEERA, ZEEKRUL ZULAIHA,

x x x x

CORRINE MAY