LUKAS. thankkiew love.
at least ii have youu to keep me going in life.
todayy wasnt really nice at all.
ii used up my moneyy andd boughtt lollies.
yes Ralph ii was serious with that idea.
duringg NPCC (which sucked big time btw) .
ii heard things from Syaza. thanks for telling me dearr.
andd ii had no mood after that too.
after training ii met up with youu andd Lyly.
we talked. ii toldd youu things ii wanted to do.
you threaten me. we talked some more.
you plann to do things. andd seeing youu now.
ii thinkk you'd do them. GODDAMNIT.
ii seriouslyy dontt know whatt to do.

afterr youu andd Lyly left. me Nam and Syaza talked.
ii cried. ii wanted to stand in the middle of the road.
ii asked them to watch me do it.
ii was thinking 'hey, ii mean what do YOU care anyway?' .
ii dontt thinkk YOU give a damnn if ii died.
ii thinkk youd continue with life as if ii never exsisted.
but luckily for me. theyy grabbed andd pulled me.
Syaza refused to let me do it. so did Nam.
Syaza asked me to stop crying.
Nam tried to calm me down. my mindd was blankk.
all ii could thinkk of was negativityy.

ii read back those sms-es from youu.
those nice and funny ones that used to cheer me up.
times where youd always make me stayy positive.
ii miss the times we sms-ed for fun.
ii miss the times we shared our problems.
ii miss the times we helped each other solve them.
the times where youu would make me feel positive.
the times we laughed andd joked about stupid things.
we'd be there to cheer each other up.
we'd justt thinkk about primary school life.
and youd say 'Math is like a st0pid subject i wish didnt exist' .

but ever since youu started again.
all we've been doingg is fighting. not literally but.
youu know whatt ii mean. youd lose your temper.
id lose mine. andd we'd justt stopp sms-ing.
thenn the next dayy. id act as if nothingg happenedd.
but as the dayy passes. we'd start again.
youd flare up andd start beingg negative.
sure the 1st few sms-ed are ouhkayy.
but then it becomes soo different towards the endd.
normally we'd end our conversations with.
'Okae its alreadie nine. nites adek :) '
'haaha ouhkayy. nites abg :) '
or we'd exchange Bacinn andd Mangkok phrases.
andd Nam. ii can give fake smiles andd laughter.
but its really hard to give it to him.
cause everytime i see him. ii feel like cryingg.
im justt at a loss for words.
ii miss youu alot. in fact. everyone does.
ii justt told youu ii hated it. but youu give me that.
'ii know. but ii dontt thinkk i'll do anythingg about it' look.
im really breakingg down now. ii cantt blogg anymore.
thanks Nam Lukas Syaza andd Amin.
ii dontt know whatt id do without youu guys.
andd to abang. come backk T_T .

LIFE IS NOT WHAT ITS USED TO BE ANYMORE.

LOVE, AYESHA :((((

I dont entertain no-lifes
read, tag, be nice.
or Leave

honeylovers since 03.02.2009
No-life clan? Click.

Im Ayesha and i keep pepper spray in my back pocket *smirk*

Im nice & fun, but test me & see how long the nice-ness last

I have awesome BFFs; GILERRS!

My J-friends call me Aya-chan & did i mention? Im a japanese-obsessed-girl :D

Obsession for turtles, a passion for writing & a love for ALL acessories! Wanna be friends? Gladly (:

And ILY 亀梨和也 !
KAT-TUN daisuki!
BIGBANG saranghae!

Its me
[♥]LIVEJOURNAL[♥]

Pictures anyone?
[♥]MULTIPLY[♥]

• Must Haves
♥ A ________
♥ KAT-TUN album(s)
♥ Pass O Levels!
♥ Graduate with ALL of 4EC
♥ Singapore Poly!
♥ Go to Japan
♥ Meet KAME
♥ To be a successful AUTHOR

Bloody Monday DVD
Absolute Boyfriend DVD
KAT-TUN'S latest album
go to JE concerts!
Kame's Rayben's degreeless specs
brown contacts
Hiragana/Katakana/Kanji
Work in CM production
Twilight/New Moon/Eclispe/Breaking Dawn

♥ 18 February
KAME/TURTLE STUFF!
accessories accessories! :D
Japanese stuff ^.^v
BIG Turtle or Teddy
Green/Red converse shoes
A memorable birthday ^^

1406 FIREWORKS!
1506 SITIEEE BDAY
1606 SILAAAAAS BDAY
1706 Sitieee's Bday dinner
1906 STUUDY!
2506 NAMMIE BDAY
2506 IFAAAH BDAY
2706 JASMINE'S 20TH BDAY!

FRIENDSTER

GILERRS <33

PRINCESS D, FASHA, KHUZA, SYAZA

Sugars <3

FEE, IQAAA!, IRNA, MARYJANE, MURNIE, ELAHH, NAMMIE, NATT, NICOLE, SITIEEEEEE!

The Classes ((:

[1EA] AZURA, [1EA] NPCC ARIFF, [1EA] DHARSH, [1EA] SHAMEERAH, [1EA] VIVIAN, [2EB] SHEADA, [3EC] SHASHA, [4EC] ELVI, [4EC] MARIYA, [4EC] NURUL, [4EC] WEI SONG

Humans (:

AISHAH, AISYAHLALA, AZRUL, MEEZA, LI PING, SHIKIN, SHINGRONG, SYAKIRAH, TEERA, ZEEKRUL ZULAIHA,

x x x x

CORRINE MAY