HELLLOOOOOOO KAMUUU ))):
ouhkayy. aku dalam computer lab sekarangg.
supposedd to solatt terawih semalam. but didnt.
had some familyy problems at house. shall not eleborate.
well. ive alreadyy had problems withh Mum.
now its withh Dad. andd my ass-hole bloodbro is pissing me off.
soo. yeah. myy familyy hates me. fuckk.
now ii dontt have a home nor a familyy. *fuckfuck*
anywayy. life is like fuck larhs seyy now.
sometimes ii feel like givingg up too.
but then .. ii try to erase the negativityy in my headd.
its hard. but ii do try my bestt. andd sometimes it works a little.
whenn ii cantt erase it.. thenn ii resortt to differentt things.
but thenn even mirrors dontt hurt anymore.
youu guys dontt know who Eric was right?
all ii cann sayy was. he was one of my closest.
not to mention one of the best. till this dayy.
ive only foundd one person like him.
andd ii hope he doesntt leave too.
yesterdayy. it was the anniversaryy of his deathh.
18/09/2005, 9:27pm.
19/09/2005, 5:45pm. was supposedd to be mine.
cause ii couldntt take the painn. ii took it really hard.
but thenn. luckilyy Sufi andd Sofia was there.
if not. ii wontt be here now.
ii lostt him. ii really miss him.
ii remembered his smiles. his laughter andd his jokes.
all the comfort andd care. oh those days.
ii wantt to turn backk time.
ii wantt to scoldd him really bad for doingg those DUMB things.
but.. ii guess historyy doesntt really repeatt itselff..
ii wishh somehow.. ii could preventt that from happening..
ii emo-ed todayy. ii can sayy ii was pretty FUCKED-UP.
yeahh. forgive me for vulgarities.
the guys thought it would be 'funny' to steal my phone todayy.

fine. ii didntt sayy anythingg. ii knew it was them.
ii justt didnt wanna sayy anythingg.
but really. I WAS FUCKED-UP.
theyy kinda picked the wrongg dayy to disturb me.
well whaeverr. theyy gave it backk at 2:10pm.
from 8am - 2:10pm it was withh them.
in the toilett. haa. well Elahh was there.
she heardd me uhs afterr P.E. aku da start maki rabakk2.
if ii didnt control my angerr. ouh thats a differentt storyy.
if ii couldd ii would've told them off. id sayy somethingg like this:
'kau pikir klakar kaperr amikk hp aku?!?
kalau laen hari kau buat gitu aku tak kesa uhs.
tapi niari kau JANGAN pandai2 nak kacau aku.
suck balls larhs fuck-tards!!'
yeahh. ii would've saidd that. but ii didntt.
ii had no mood the whole dayy.
some people who wantedd to kacau me.
ii asked them not to. it justt wasntt the dayy..
ii mean heyy. they kindlyy gave me some space. THANKS (:
cabott P.E. watchedd the guys playy takraw.

like seriouslyy. ii really2 miss him.
ii mean he deserves a secondd chance..
whyy mustt his time be up? its so unfairr..
whyy didntt ii take it seriouslyy?!
whyy didntt ii put more effort in tryingg to stop him?!
whyy do ii always lose the friends ii care so much about..
ii meann.. if ii keep on losing people like this..
THEN WTFH IS THERE A POINT FOR ME TO LIVE?!?!?
MATI KAN LAGI BAGOS? SAPE KESA KAN?!
i'll justt keep on getting hurt! ii cantt take it!!
people forbid me to do otherr stuffs.
as in theyy DONT WANT me to start. fine. ii respect that.
andd ii promisedd. especially to Nammy.
these are days.. where he'd comfort me..
ii remembered. he'd sit beside me.. talk to me..
askingg me to see my smile. he saidd this to me one dayy.
'hey. awakk cheer up okayys? smile. cause ii tell youu 1 thingg.
that smile is whatt makes you, YOU'
the wayy he spoke malayy to me. it was adorable (:
but.. hes gone.. gone.. ii wishh he were here now..
ii thoughtt ii wouldd get overr it.. afterr 2 years..
but it seems it wasnt enoughh cause im still hurt about it.
ii sat in my room like for an hourr justt now.
ii justt looked at the Necklace he gave me on my birthdayy.
it was the first andd lastt presentt he gave me.
sad thing is. the necklace was broken. *sadness*
but ii still kept the pieces. i'll never throw it awayy.
its really hardd. y'know. to move on..
but its a parcel of life.. ii gotta live withh it..
wow this was a looooooongg postt.
haah. ii dontt seem to postt loooong anymore.
enjoyy this one for now. even if it IS ratherr depressingg.
people sayy, the pastt is in the pastt. andd we gotta let go.
but this partt of my pastt is hard to let go..
ii justt cantt do it. not yet. im not readyy to let go.
but seriouslyy.. ii cantt take it.
Someone please help me cope..
ii dontt have anymore strengthh.. *TEARSTEARS*
hello. youre cute (:

I WANT YOU BACK. IS IT POSSIBLE? TELL ME IT IS.

LOVE, AYESHA )))):

I dont entertain no-lifes
read, tag, be nice.
or Leave

honeylovers since 03.02.2009
No-life clan? Click.

Im Ayesha and i keep pepper spray in my back pocket *smirk*

Im nice & fun, but test me & see how long the nice-ness last

I have awesome BFFs; GILERRS!

My J-friends call me Aya-chan & did i mention? Im a japanese-obsessed-girl :D

Obsession for turtles, a passion for writing & a love for ALL acessories! Wanna be friends? Gladly (:

And ILY 亀梨和也 !
KAT-TUN daisuki!
BIGBANG saranghae!

Its me
[♥]LIVEJOURNAL[♥]

Pictures anyone?
[♥]MULTIPLY[♥]

• Must Haves
♥ A ________
♥ KAT-TUN album(s)
♥ Pass O Levels!
♥ Graduate with ALL of 4EC
♥ Singapore Poly!
♥ Go to Japan
♥ Meet KAME
♥ To be a successful AUTHOR

Bloody Monday DVD
Absolute Boyfriend DVD
KAT-TUN'S latest album
go to JE concerts!
Kame's Rayben's degreeless specs
brown contacts
Hiragana/Katakana/Kanji
Work in CM production
Twilight/New Moon/Eclispe/Breaking Dawn

♥ 18 February
KAME/TURTLE STUFF!
accessories accessories! :D
Japanese stuff ^.^v
BIG Turtle or Teddy
Green/Red converse shoes
A memorable birthday ^^

1406 FIREWORKS!
1506 SITIEEE BDAY
1606 SILAAAAAS BDAY
1706 Sitieee's Bday dinner
1906 STUUDY!
2506 NAMMIE BDAY
2506 IFAAAH BDAY
2706 JASMINE'S 20TH BDAY!

FRIENDSTER

GILERRS <33

PRINCESS D, FASHA, KHUZA, SYAZA

Sugars <3

FEE, IQAAA!, IRNA, MARYJANE, MURNIE, ELAHH, NAMMIE, NATT, NICOLE, SITIEEEEEE!

The Classes ((:

[1EA] AZURA, [1EA] NPCC ARIFF, [1EA] DHARSH, [1EA] SHAMEERAH, [1EA] VIVIAN, [2EB] SHEADA, [3EC] SHASHA, [4EC] ELVI, [4EC] MARIYA, [4EC] NURUL, [4EC] WEI SONG

Humans (:

AISHAH, AISYAHLALA, AZRUL, MEEZA, LI PING, SHIKIN, SHINGRONG, SYAKIRAH, TEERA, ZEEKRUL ZULAIHA,

x x x x

CORRINE MAY