They said shut up and listen we've heard your excuses.
Your life is a little more useful than useless.
Youve got potential.
To change your life with a pencil.
And this problem's much too big.
For us just to ignore.
We're here for youu now.
Like youve been there before.
- Dropout Year, There's A Fine Line.

one wordd, can do alot to someone.
a person's actions, cann cause change.
andd the changes, are either goodd or badd.
Change. thats whatt ive beenn thinkingg andd hearingg latelyy.
life's somehow not the same anymore. correction.
life is never the same anyymore.
its been quite long since ii felt happiness in my life.
andd ive forgottenn whatt it feels like.
it'll be nice to feel it againn. but ii doubt i'll feel it.
ii dontt know whats gonna become of my fuck-ed-up life.
im loosing everyy single person ii everr cared aboutt.
im loosing the only familyy ii have rightt now.
(edited from here)
im also loosing myselff to negativityy againn.
yesterdayy nightt afterr terawih.
well, things happenedd. ii dontt know..
ii dontt really wanna elaborate.
ii dontt thinkk ii evenn wanna thinkk aboutt it.
the things youu toldd me. aboutt whatt youu wanna do.
ii cann sayy, ii was quite takenn abackk. yeahh.
ii actually was speechless ouhkayy.
ii didntt know whatt to sayy, so ii justt nooded or shrugged.
truthh is, my mindd was like completelyy blankk.
ii was like thinkingg 'did he really sayy that?'
thenn well.. as ii saidd. shall not elaborate here.
ii hadd to go home. it was aroundd 9.50pm.
in the bus ii sms-ed youu. yes YOUU.
ii cann tell youu thatt ii know its hardd.
cause ive been there. andd well, unlike youu.
ii changed for the better WITHOUT the support of friends.
it was pure torture. thats all ii cann sayy.
whenn youu know who da keluar dari dunia ini.
ii was leftt withh Sufi, Sofia ngann Rizal.
ii was still in the state of hatingg life.
the process of thinkingg that life was REALLY useless.
it was a time whenn ii needed support from them.
cause ii cann assure youu, my primaryy school friendds knew nothingg aboutt it.
andd it was at that veryy momentt.
Sufi andd Sofia was sentt to Girls Home.
Rizal wentt Boys Home a few weeks afterr.
ii was on my own. andd thenn. Sec1.
ii lostt anotherr close friendd. misunderstandings wrecked our friendship.
yeahh youu guys know it. it was Azrul.
theres more to my life besides Smiles andd Laughterr.
but evenn afterr havingg soo manyy problems.
ii have andd always wil put my friends before self.

its really hard changing by yourselff. without support.
without people cheering youu up whenn youu needed it.
without people who looks at youu, evenn whenn youre smilingg.
andd theyy cann still askk 'Whats wrong?'
without anyone knowingg what youre going throughh.
andd sometimes theyy will like fuckingg piss youu off.
andd make yourr life even worse.
but ii did it. ii changed for the better alone. without support.
ive been there. andd ii seriouslyy DONT wanna go there againn.
ii cann go backk to my old ways. ii cann easilyy start.
its as easyy as ABC. but ii wontt.
cause ii know ii made promises. andd ii dontt wanna let people downn.
ii dontt wantt theirr efforts to go to waste.
cause like ii saidd. ii dontt wanna go backk to a time.
where ii lose everyythingg againn.
andd live a life withoutt people who care.
it really seems to me like historyy IS repeatingg itselff.
ii AM loosingg everythingg againn. everythingg..
im not the girl thatt ii usedd to be lastt yearr.
or the yearr before that.. those who notice.
especially my primary school friends.
my attitude has had a BIG difference compared to now.
(edited from here)
whenn people see me. they'll thinkk:
'Oh shes so happy these days. shes so luckyy not to worry aboutt problems'
but thats justt it. i DO have problems. ii justt refuse to show them.
cause ii know. whenn ii show my real mood.
thenn, it'll affect the people aroundd me.

youre luckyy youu know. youu justt dontt see it yet.
youre changing withh the support of friends.
youu got friends like us to help guide youu.
youu have people that actually care deeplyy aboutt youu.
wake up. youre not alone in this coldd world.
cause believe it or not, there are people that are goingg throughh.
whatt youre goingg throughh rightt now.
youu haventt been sufferingg alone y'know.
Me, Nammy, Elahh, Lyly andd whoeverr has been sufferingg withh youu.
all of us do have our own problems. but we still try to help youu.
we still try to give youu support. cause we do care.
andd we wantt youu to choose the rightt pathh.
evenn if youu choose the wrongg pathh.
we would still be here to guide youu backk on the rightt one.
we dontt wantt youu to regret laterr on in life.
for the dumb decisions youu make.
cause life's too short for regrets andd dumb decisions.
ii know its hardd. like really hardd. yes ii do know.
eveyone fails at times. thats where friends come in.
where theyy pull youu rightt backk up andd make youu keep on walkingg.
youuve done loads for me. ALOT.
andd ii dontt wantt youu to suffer the same fate as youu know who.
youu saidd there are secondd chances.
youu deserve a secondd chance too.
andd forr youu, that secondd chance for change is now.
andd dontt forgett, we'll be behindd youu all the wayy.
stickk whatt ii sayy into yourr headd like a piece of bubblegum.
remember youu gave me yourr wordd? whatt youu toldd me?
dontt let all of us downn. dontt let our efforts go to waste.
cause we wontt give up on youu changing for the better (:
andd youu know that veryy well.
youre adorable youu know that? (:

FRIENDS ARE THE SIBLINGS GOD FORGOT TO GIVE US.

LOVE, AYESHA )):

I dont entertain no-lifes
read, tag, be nice.
or Leave

honeylovers since 03.02.2009
No-life clan? Click.

Im Ayesha and i keep pepper spray in my back pocket *smirk*

Im nice & fun, but test me & see how long the nice-ness last

I have awesome BFFs; GILERRS!

My J-friends call me Aya-chan & did i mention? Im a japanese-obsessed-girl :D

Obsession for turtles, a passion for writing & a love for ALL acessories! Wanna be friends? Gladly (:

And ILY 亀梨和也 !
KAT-TUN daisuki!
BIGBANG saranghae!

Its me
[♥]LIVEJOURNAL[♥]

Pictures anyone?
[♥]MULTIPLY[♥]

• Must Haves
♥ A ________
♥ KAT-TUN album(s)
♥ Pass O Levels!
♥ Graduate with ALL of 4EC
♥ Singapore Poly!
♥ Go to Japan
♥ Meet KAME
♥ To be a successful AUTHOR

Bloody Monday DVD
Absolute Boyfriend DVD
KAT-TUN'S latest album
go to JE concerts!
Kame's Rayben's degreeless specs
brown contacts
Hiragana/Katakana/Kanji
Work in CM production
Twilight/New Moon/Eclispe/Breaking Dawn

♥ 18 February
KAME/TURTLE STUFF!
accessories accessories! :D
Japanese stuff ^.^v
BIG Turtle or Teddy
Green/Red converse shoes
A memorable birthday ^^

1406 FIREWORKS!
1506 SITIEEE BDAY
1606 SILAAAAAS BDAY
1706 Sitieee's Bday dinner
1906 STUUDY!
2506 NAMMIE BDAY
2506 IFAAAH BDAY
2706 JASMINE'S 20TH BDAY!

FRIENDSTER

GILERRS <33

PRINCESS D, FASHA, KHUZA, SYAZA

Sugars <3

FEE, IQAAA!, IRNA, MARYJANE, MURNIE, ELAHH, NAMMIE, NATT, NICOLE, SITIEEEEEE!

The Classes ((:

[1EA] AZURA, [1EA] NPCC ARIFF, [1EA] DHARSH, [1EA] SHAMEERAH, [1EA] VIVIAN, [2EB] SHEADA, [3EC] SHASHA, [4EC] ELVI, [4EC] MARIYA, [4EC] NURUL, [4EC] WEI SONG

Humans (:

AISHAH, AISYAHLALA, AZRUL, MEEZA, LI PING, SHIKIN, SHINGRONG, SYAKIRAH, TEERA, ZEEKRUL ZULAIHA,

x x x x

CORRINE MAY